4th nightmare in a row.
That fucked up moment when you finally realize something is much harder than you’d hoped or imagined.
Don’t you just hate it when you know someone is lying to you but you can’t do anything about it.
That’s the worst fucking thing in the world.
Catching a liar red handed but you can’t say or do anything.
& the anxiety is coming back.
Isn’t that the most fucked thing possible, just when everything is smooth sailing and everything is going on track, all of a sudden my anxiety kicks in.
The closer to that day, the more my hands are beginning to shake and tremble.
It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
There’s a Tumblr account that’s fake.
Not fake as in small time. I’m talking big time fake.
With an entire instagram and all.
Debating if I should bring that person down to their knees or leave it ?
The greatest warrior has nothing to do with war. He has nothing to do with fighting others. He has something to do inside himself. One has to be a warrior because one has to be very alert just like a warrior. One has to be very watchful, very meditative, because if one is moving in the darkest continent in existence…
There are all kinds of pitfalls, all possibilities of going astray and there are all kinds of inner enemies. They have not to be killed or destroyed; they have to be transformed, they have to be converted into friends. Anger has to be transformed into compassion, lust has to be transformed into love, and so on, so forth.
That’s how, in Japan, the whole world of the samurai, the warrior, came out of meditation and all kinds of martial arts became paths towards inner peace. Swordsmanship became one of the most meditative things in Japan. Nobody can imagine what meditation has to do with a sword, but they developed swordsmanship in Japan. You learn it in the temple of Zen; it is a method of meditation. You are fighting with swords—you have to be very alert; otherwise you are gone. In such situations, you cannot afford to be sleepy.
Swordsmanship has been used to develop that quality of awareness, and in the same way, the other martial arts—aikido, jujitsu, karate. All these are arts of the warrior, but the Japanese have transformed them for the war that you are going to fight inside yourself with the darkness, with your own ego, with all that is ugly in you.
It seems strange, but Japan has done many really strange things. From tea drinking to swordsmanship, everything has been changed into meditation. In fact the whole of life can be transformed into meditation, because meditation simply means becoming more aware. So go inwards and be more aware. One day victory is yours—that is absolutely certain. You just have to fulfill the requirement: you have to be totally aware."